The Cutting Room Floor Presents
by emcey squared
Summary: In the writing of Second Chances, there were quite a few scenes that had to hit the cutting room floor, as it were. Several of these scenes were written anyway – mostly for practice and giggles – and now we're posting them up to share. Seifer/Squall
1. Alternate FH Scenes

Disclaimer – No one involved in the writing found within owns _Final Fantasy VIII_ or makes money from the posting of said writing.

A/N – In the writing of _Second Chances_, there were quite a few scenes that had to hit the cutting room floor, as it were. Some because they ceased to fit in as the plot evolved and others because they didn't involve Seifer, whose POV the story largely followed. Despite these facts, the scenes were written anyway – mostly for practice and giggles – and now we bring them to you as a 'stopgap' between _Second Chances_ and it's upcoming sequel, _Happy Endings_.

_**The Cutting Room Floor Presents**_

Emcey – Originally we were going to keep Rinoa as the Sorceress and generally an oblivious, air-headed brat. But Kit mentioned that our version of Seifer wasn't exactly the sort to date a girl because she had a nice rack. Our Seifer likes substance – aka brains – so we changed things around and figured out how to make Rinoa not only understandable and somewhat intelligent (okay, so I don't like her) but also get rid of her on a good note, which was when the Sorceress!Selphie idea came into play.

Kit – While we were still knocking out ideas with Air-headed!Sorceress!Rinoa in the picture, FH played out a little differently after Squall's promotion to Commander. At that time we hadn't thought of making Xu headmistress either, so... yeah. Different. But the plot outline changed as character-roles evolved. Yet we couldn't resist writing out these two scenes anyway. We'd already come up with some of the dialogue and it seemed like a waste not to at least write it for our own amusement.

Emcey – Now we share it with our adoring audience.

Kit – Please... leave her delusions in peace. Her roommate's sanity may depend upon it.

Emcey – :)

_Cut FH Scene One – Quad_

Seifer was, to say the least, not impressed with Selphie's 'Grand Plan.' For one thing, she wanted to shanghai him into playing the guitar and singing on command – her command, of course. Not that he didn't enjoy playing for fun, but he preferred it when the audience enjoyed the music, something that wasn't likely to happen what with how Selphie planned to get Squall down to the 'concert.' That was the second big part of the plan, after all; somehow, Selphie seemed to be under the mistaken impression that Rinoa was the perfect person to fetch Squall and drag him kicking and screaming to view Seifer's enslavement.

Okay, so maybe the kicking and screaming part was exaggeration. Squall would be nothing if not dignified, annoyed, and in the process of developing a headache once he inevitably caved to Rinoa's future insistence that he be sociable.

"Go get yourself all spiffy and prettified," Selphie told Rinoa, who bounced happily and took off to do as ordered. "As for you," Selphie turned and poked Seifer in the chest. "You will play the guitar and you will sing and you," poke, "will," poke, "like it." Poke, poke.

None of Selphie's pokes, which had been done rather forcefully, so much as budged Seifer, however. "If that was an attempt to move me, you failed both literally and metaphorically."

"Set up the instruments now, Raijin," Fujin directed.

Seifer face-palmed, as was only appropriate when his staunchest ally – his sister – was in the process of betraying him. "Fujin, tell me that Selphie hasn't already recruited you in this... fubar in the making?"

"RAGE!" Fujin smacked Seifer's arm forcefully – _she_ actually caused him to stumble forward a step or two, much to Quistis, Zell, and Irvine's not-so-quiet amusement. "It will be fun. Raijin volunteered to play the drums and I'm on keyboard."

"As always," Seifer sighed, dropping his hands. "Does the fact that _I don't want to_ mean anything to you at all?"

"NEGATIVE! Find the quad guitar or go get yours from your dorm. _Now_."

The two of them glared at each other for a long moment, each ignoring Selphie's gleeful expression and the sniggering coming from Quistis, Zell, and Irvine. At least, they were until Seifer couldn't take it anymore. Whirling around, he hit the laughing trio with his glare.

"If you three don't shut up,_ there will be violence_. And don't think you're getting out of anything; Selphie surely has something for all of you to do and I'm certain she'd be more than happy to borrow your whip, Trepe, so that she can pull off the slave-driver look better."

"Kinky," Irvine drawled, leering at the red-headed pixie. "I like the imagery."

"Obey me," Selphie trilled happily, miming a whipping motion and making a 'kachek' sound. Turning to Seifer, Selphie used her biggest puppy-dog-eyed stare. "Please, Seifer? Please?"

"Fine." Seifer pinned Selphie with his highly unamused stare. "But when Squall is too pissed off at Rinoa for being a pushy bitch to appreciate any of this, I'm going to say 'I told you so' and I'm going to rub it in painfully. Just so that's clear." He sneered at them and stalked off.

Halfway out of the quad, Selphie caught up to him. Tugging on his arm, she got him to stop and she smiled up at him sweetly. "I know that you'd be a better candidate for getting Squall to come to the concert peaceably, but I needed something to do with Rinoa. I'm sure once he gets there, Squall will be far too busy listening to you sing to pay Rinoa any attention.

"I do see the way you two look at each other," she added slyly.

Seifer flushed but didn't respond.

"Don't be mad, Seifer."

Sighing, Seifer offered her a half-smile and ruffled her hair. "Coppercurls... I doubt I could ever really be mad with you."

"Hey... my hair!" Selphie giggled and mock growled at him as she straightened her hair by combing her fingers through the slightly mussed strands.

"I can see it now," Seifer laughed, shaking his head at the ridiculous mental image in his head.

"See what now?"

"You growing claws and sprouting fur and fangs. Such a vicious growl you have."

"Oh go get that guitar of yours," Selphie told him, waving him off with a grin and running to the others in order to assign them jobs. With Fujin as her enforcer, there was no way any of them could resist.

Shaking his head, Seifer started off towards the quad exit again. "I don't know why anyone thinks I'm in charge of the posse," he mused to himself. "Fujin is the bossy one..."

_Cut FH Scene Two – Stage_

Much as Seifer had predicted, Squall was dragging his feet and glaring balefully at Rinoa by the time he finally arrived at the stage Flo had let Selphie set up in front of the Mayor's house. (Flo had to be the most kick-ass old lady ever. If Seifer ever had to choose a grandmother, he'd pick Flo hands down.)

Rinoa was dressed to the nines in the same dress she'd worn at the graduation party about a week earlier. Where it came from, Seifer had no fucking clue. He was pretty certain that she'd left all her crap in Timber, but maybe she'd found some cadet or SeeD who had the same dress. With Rinoa, there was simply no telling.

Squall, on the other hand, was still in his ass-hugging leather outfit that had always frustrated Seifer... though for different reasons now than before. He used to get irritated because leather was not the easiest thing to move in but Squall still managed to be faster than Seifer. Now... the frustration had to do with how badly he wanted to shove that leather-clad body against the nearest hard surface and kiss the hell out of him.

The impulse was not conducive to sparring and Seifer was starting to worry that he was going to be completely useless the next time Squall wanted to fight.

Regardless of Seifer's personal feelings towards Squall and the desire he had to shove Rinoa off the side of the nearest tall building just to watch her go splat on the ground, Seifer managed to play through several songs as the drama that was Rinoa's failed seduction of Squall unfolded.

First, Squall tried to stand around watching the posse and listening to the music. Rinoa kept trying to talk over the music, though, and Squall reluctantly moved off to the side in order to hear her better. Sometimes the brunet gunblader was too polite. He really ought to just deal with Rinoa the same way he had Quistis, but Squall was under the strange impression that Rinoa was more delicate than the whip-wielding blonde woman.

Next, Squall tried to deter Rinoa's interest by sitting on the edge overlooking the solar panel 'sea' below and staring off into the distance even as he nodded absently to whatever she was saying. He attempted to get up and go back to the music a few times, but she grabbed his arm each time. Squall would detach her grip whenever she did it, but Rinoa wasn't good at taking a hint.

Finally, Squall snapped at Rinoa and she shoved him off the edge to the solar panels below. Then she jumped after him, somehow managing not to break her legs despite still wearing her fancy heels.

The girl was a fucking cat in disguise. Seifer just knew it.

Eventually Squall must have done something to chase Rinoa off because she clambered back up the ladder, alone, and stalked off in a huff. Squall did not follow and Seifer took the opportunity to hand his guitar off to Fujin while Quistis gamely took a turn at the keyboard.

Climbing down to the solar panel level, Seifer peered about in the dark for Squall. He spied the brunet around the curve of the 'island' the Mayor's house was located on and wandered over to sit beside the crouched Commander without saying a word. Fujin's voice was gorgeous as she sang, so it was easy enough to sit around listening to the music and wait for Squall to break the silence between them.

Squall stared up at the sky wordlessly for a long while but, when it became apparent that Seifer wasn't going to say anything, he finally asked, "do you think I ought to change who I am just like everyone else seems to?"

"Huh?" Seifer turned to look at the morose brunet. "Where did that come from?" Shaking his head, Seifer shrugged. "Rinoa is spouting off like a moron again, I suppose. You're fine the way you are, Squall. Yeah, sure, I wish you'd be more open around me, but then that's because I've always wanted your attention. Mostly, I just want you to feel comfortable around me as yourself. That's part of the whole 'being friends' thing. So, no, I don't want you to change. I want you to be you."

Pausing, Seifer flushed, grateful that the dark covered his embarrassment. "Hyne... that sounded ridiculously corny. Don't tell anyone I said anything so stupid sounding; I'll deny it to my dying day, I swear."

Squall laughed softly and bumped his shoulder against Seifer's lightly. "Don't worry. I won't say a thing."

"Good." Seifer bumped Squall's shoulder back and grinned.

Smiling back in a hesitant, barely there sort of way, Squall settled down into a more comfy sitting position. "Rinoa seems to think that I need to share every thought I have and trust everyone with all my fears. Quistis is always telling me that I need to be more open and approachable so that other people can depend on me better. Irvine acts like my verbal approval is the rain and he's a dehydrated, droopy plant."

Seifer snorted, trying to hold back his laughter and only succeeding in coughing awkwardly before snickering at the imagery.

Running his hands through his hair in an agitated manner, Squall muttered, "why the fuck am I telling you any of this? I shouldn't be burdening you with my problems."

"You aren't burdening me with anything, Squall," Seifer insisted. "You're venting and I'm listening; that's another thing that friends do. Face it, Squall. You're stuck with me." He stood up and turned to look down on Squall, offering the brunet a hand up. "Rinoa is trying to force something that isn't there. You feel bad 'cause she's genuinely trying to be nice even though she's actually being a complete harpy. Don't let her manipulate you into trying to become someone you aren't, Squall. Just... tell her to fuck off the next time she's talking nonsense, okay?"

"Yeah... sure." Squall grabbed Seifer's hand and let the blonde pull him to his feet.

What they hadn't counted on was being mere inches apart once Squall was standing. They stood there for a long moment, fingers still tangled together, staring into one another's eyes and frozen by the intensity they found there.

Unable to take the tension any longer, Seifer leaned in and pressed his lips against Squall's. He growled low in his throat as Squall kissed back. Pressing Squall back against the wall, Seifer swiped his tongue along Squall's lips, seeking to deepen the kiss. Squall moaned and complied, his face tilting slightly to offer better access as Seifer's free hand reached up to cup his cheek.

"Holy fuck!" Zell's voice ripped the two out of their little world and back into reality.

Panting, the two gunbladers parted and turned to face the martial artist.

"I... uh... Selphie wants you back up on guitar..." Zell stammered. "I'll just... go..."

Squall looked quickly between Zell and Seifer and then bolted for the ladder. Seifer had never seen anyone climb a wall so quickly before.

"Great timing Dincht," Seifer snarled, glowering at his fellow blonde before following Squall's path up the ladder.

Emcey – So there you have it. The original imagining of Squall and Seifer's first kiss. I rather prefer the gravity assisted cliché over the getting caught in the act cliché, but I did miss having the concert scene. We tried to make up for it later, but not having Selphie and Squall there just made it a little bittersweet to write.

Kit – I really love writing Selphie, too, so this outtake was great practice for her random weirdness. Of course, mostly it was done for giggles.


	2. The Paintball Fiascos

Disclaimer - We are not the Borg and have thus not managed to assimilate FF8 or Square Enix into our collective...

Emcey – As we further developed the plot we began including a few OCs. A fan favorite seems to be Cadell Minion and, admittedly, it's hard not to like someone who has the name Minion. It's like a promise to be fun and quirky.

Kit – But we became quite partial to Jade Emrys. While Cadell was developed and named solely for this story (Emcey liked the name Cadell, I wanted to have a character named Minion), Jade was a character I'd been working on for a completely different story. She will show up there, but that's beside the point. (Jade was named for Mara Jade of _Star Wars_ and Emrys came from the Arthurian legends regarding Merlin... for various reasons, not least of which the fact that that the name sounds pretty.)

Emcey – Though Minion's choice of weapon was obvious to both of us – stilettos – Jade... Kit thought a bazooka would be fun and I wanted her to wield a staff. It was a rare occasion in which I was being the more reasonable of the two of us.

Kit – I still think the bazooka would be awesome.

Emcey – I do not debate that fact. A bazooka is always awesome.

Kit – Anyway, we settled on two short staves – think Teyla's stick fighting technique from _Stargate: Atlantis_ – and gave the long staff to a Sorceress Worshiper. Then we gave Jade a second weapons mastery as a sharp shooter for the sole purpose of writing the following outtake.

Emcey – Not that this outtake is even from her POV. No... it's from Xu's. We might do another version from Jade's POV later, but for now... Xu get's to have fun.

_Strategy Training, AKA The Lesser Paintball Fiasco_

It began with a requisition form for green, yellow, and pink paintballs. Paintball guns, however, were _not_ being requisitioned. This was unusual enough that the request got sent around the requisition's department for laughs and somehow landed on the Headmistress' desk by mistake.

Xu was... confused. Since the request had been put in by the Security Department, she took the matter up with Seifer. Unfortunately, the blonde gunblader had been in something of a hurry – he was leaving with Squall, Quistis, Zell, Irvine, and Selphie to fly to Esthar and proceed with the Plan to defeat the Ultimate Bitch better known as Ultimecia – and he told her to just go with it and he'd explain later.

This didn't exactly sit well with Xu, but she sent the request back to the Requisition Department with orders to approve the request and a reprimand stating that from there on out incredulity should not stop them from doing their jobs properly... and that their paperwork should not be 'mysteriously' rerouted outside of their department.

Unable to restrain her curiosity, Xu went to Jade Emrys for an explanation. Emrys was Seifer's second in command in the Security Department, so it stood to reason that Emrys would be able to tell her just what Seifer was planning to do with the paintballs. Hopefully Emrys would also be able to make Xu's misgivings regarding having the paintball request approved go away.

At least, that was what Xu kept telling herself. The problem was, she couldn't find Emrys anywhere. In fact, she couldn't find any of the Security Staff anywhere in Garden. After asking around, it turned out that no one had seen the SeeDs assigned to Security since Garden had returned to Balamb to wait for confirmation that Ultimecia had been killed. (Would be killed? The whole time-travel aspect made verb tenses suspect when referring to this particular mission and left Xu with a headache whenever she tried to figure it out. She had a sneaking suspicion that it'd only be worse once the reports from Squall's team reached her desk. It was times like this she was glad that she was only Headmistress and not Commander. If she wanted to, she could ignore the reports completely.)

Upon deeper inspection, it came to Xu's attention that in the Security Department's absence the Disciplinary Committee, under Fujin's leadership, was temporarily acting as Garden's security force. The platinum haired woman was cagey by nature, however, and so Xu had to approach the situation delicately if she intended to find out just what was going on.

"Cadet Engel, a moment if you would?" Xu smiled politely as she walked up to Fujin.

Having been Seifer's closest confidant and pseudo-sister for years now, Fujin was well known for being insanely loyal to Seifer. It would likely be difficult to get any sort of information out of her, but Xu was looking forward to the subtle interrogation ahead of her.

"The Security Department is out training and will return within two hours." Fujin told her without even needing to be asked. "They're being schooled in strategy by SeeD Emrys on Seifer's orders. I volunteered the DC to take their place for four hours so that the entire division could receive the training simultaneously instead of in shifts."

Xu had to remember not to pout. It'd been a long time since she'd had a chance to subtly interrogate anyone and Fujin had made doing so unnecessary... which sucked.

"So what do the paintballs have to do with anything?" Xu demanded, deciding to just get to the point. "They're kinda useless without paintball guns."

"Oh, they have paintball guns," Fujin responded absently. "They actually belong to the Trepies, but were confiscated a couple of months ago due to... a technicality. If that's all Headmistress, I should check on my people."

"Oh... right, go ahead." Xu nodded, relieved that there wasn't some nefarious scheme involving paintball grenades in the works. She could find out more about what was going on from Emrys in two hours and Xu could live with the remainder of her curiosity for that long.

Two hours later and Xu found herself at Garden's front entrance watching the bedraggled Security Officers walk, limp, and shuffle back into the building. Each one was covered in paint, mostly green and yellow. But every person had a single splotch of pink over their hearts.

The only exception was Emrys, who was completely clean and had an unholy smirk upon her face. Xu was starting to understand why Seifer had chosen her as his second in command. She was just as nuts as he was.

"Strategy training, hmmm?" Xu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"This was more of an assessment test to see where everyone stands," Jade chirped, her smirk growing ever more devilish.

"So... everyone failed?"

"No." She laughed. "The SeeD from Trabia did a commendable job and there was a member of the yellow team who managed to keep from being shot by the green team. That person also captured the green team's flag. So those people passed... and the yellow team won. They get bragging rights."

There was a long silence before Jade turned around to face the security officers. "Alright, those of you who are supposed to be on duty now, get to it. The rest of you can do whatever you normally do while off duty. If any of you see Cadet Engel, please let her know that she can have the DC stand down now.

"Oh, and one last thing. Today's exercise will be reported to SeeD Almasy. I don't imagine he'll be impressed. As such, I'm going to recommend additional training for all of you in smaller groups until all of you learn how to work in cohesive teams instead of trying to do everything yourselves. Playing hero gets you dead, people. Dead security officers cannot protect the base." Jade gave them a very sharp look. "That's all. Dismissed."

"So..." Xu watched as the security officers wandered off. It was obvious which ones were slated to go back on duty because they looked particularly dejected. "Are things really that bad in security?"

"Yup. But I think that Seifer and I can get them into shape. I know it looks like I was just shooting them in the heart with pink paintballs for kicks, but there was actually a point to all this."

"Really? Enlighten me."

"The whole point of the exercise was to try to force them to work as a group. They largely failed at this, though the SeeD from Trabia did a fairly good job of trying to rally their teams." Jade shrugged. "Our SeeD are used to being allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They don't consult the proper chain of command, they don't have any loyalty to one anther... they're used to a free ride. They can't have it anymore.

"The pink splotches are a method of building unity through shared humiliation. It's... borderline brainwashing, I suppose, but now they can all identify with one another on some level. Seifer called it training through hazing."

"That sounds like Almasy," Xu sighed. "I'm either going to kill him or..."

"Or?"

"I may have him expand the duties of security to training SeeD for bodyguard missions." Xu shrugged. "I suppose it depends on how quickly Security shapes up."

Jade smirked. "He'll love that."

* * *

><p>Kit – In writing about the first Paintball Fiasco (which became the Lesser Paintball Fiasco), it became clear that there must have also been the Great Paintball Fiasco, explaining why the Trepies had paintball guns and why said guns were confiscated in the first place.<p>

Emcey – This one is Kit's baby, however. Totally her idea and it's adorable. Fujin is downright scary, Seifer is priceless, and Squall... hehe...

_Turf Wars, AKA the Great Paintball Fiasco_

The Disciplinary Committee was made up of fifteen students spanning three of Garden's six grades, though only three of the DC members were recognizable on sight by the four-hundred odd cadets attending Balamb Garden. These three students were Seifer Almasy, Fujin Engel, and Raijin Colbert. While the other twelve DC members were quiet, unassuming, and swift in their enforcement of the rules – never noticed until they struck the unsuspecting rule breaker with a detention – the trio that led them were loud, haughty, and merciless.

Seifer was their leader – of both the trio and the DC – and he was the greatest enigma. Prideful, talented, and charismatic, Seifer seemed at once to be both the perfect candidate for Garden's poster SeeD and a jackass just barely managing to stay in school by virtue of his impeccable grades. He managed this largely by being the sort of person who adheres to the policy of 'do as I say and not as I do.'

Raijin was, to the surprise of many, the logistical brain behind the trio. Though he wasn't the one they went to for plans, he was the one who knew everything they needed to make those plans. Laid back and difficult to annoy, Raijin gave off a 'gentle giant' sort of aura that led him to help make the new cadets feel at home.

Fujin was the heart of the group. Though she was terse in her mannerisms, she was the one who kept Seifer calm when he was enraged and fired Raijin up when they needed him to fight passionately. She saw through to the things her friends might otherwise hide and helped them when they needed her at their side.

However, it was a well known fact that, out of the three, Fujin was the most terrifying when pissed off. Even Seifer was willing to testify to that fact.

* * *

><p>Fujin stormed into Trepie headquarters, a small classroom that hadn't been used as such in years, and brushed passed the teenaged boys and girls to come to a halt in front of the desk where the head Trepie, Natalia Rogers, sat. That was when the silver-haired teen tipped the contents of the box she was carrying onto the desk and then discarded the box onto the floor. "EXPLAIN," she commanded.<p>

Natalia swallowed nervously. There was nothing scarier than Fujin when she was angry and it didn't matter that the red-eyed girl was surrounded by about a third of the forty Trepies in Garden, there was something about the way Fujin stood there, demanding an explanation, that made Natalia think that Fujin could easily kill them all with her thumb in under five minutes.

Looking down at the crushed wires and plastic on her desk, Natalia recognized the lens mixed in with the rest. "I-it's the camera that was in the bathroom." The one-eyed, red stare bored into Natalia's forehead. "W-we put it there... so that we could all observe Quistis in every environment... to appreciate the economy of movement she uses and..."

"PERVERT PEEP-SHOW!" Fujin interrupted. "DESIST!"

"Now wait a second," complained one of the guys, "this is about group equality. The girls get to watch Trepe naked all the time. We're just... evening the playing field."

"STALKING!" Fujin snapped. "ILLEGAL! IMMORAL! This ends here," Fujin continued, her voice dropping to a hiss as her hands braced against the edge of the desk and she leaned menacingly towards Natalia. "If it does not then I will do that," she gestured to the pulverized remains of the incredibly expensive camera, "to every single Trepie in this complex. UNDERSTOOD?"

"U-uh..." Natalia wondered if this was how rabbits felt when the shadow of a hawk passed over them.

"RESPOND!"

"Y-yes, Cadet Engel. There will be no further cameras."

"This is your only warning. The next infraction will cause the Trepies' charter to be suspended pending review by the Disciplinary Board."

"U-understood."

Fujin nodded sharply, turned to glare at every single cadet in the room, and then storm from the room.

"I told you we were violating Garden code," muttered one voice from the back of the room while another piped in was, "it did feel kind of ethically unsound, I suppose."

Natalia stood, drawing the eyes of all the Trepies in the room. She might be a rabbit to Fujin's hawk, but there were more Trepies than DC members. "This... is war."

* * *

><p>No one would ever accuse the Trepies of being Garden's brightest bunch. Despite idolizing Quistis Trepe, SeeD's shining prodigy, they were all actually quite stupid.<p>

As evidence of their stupidity, consider the following.

In response to Fujin's actions, the leader of the Trepies came up with a Plan. This Plan involved arming all the Trepies with paintball guns and taking hostage the one person that everyone knew Fujin loved best. They would then use this person as a hostage to negotiate with Fujin and force her to put up with their spy cameras taping every moment of Quistis Trepe's day regardless of where those cameras might be and who else those cameras might record.

Obviously, the person that Fujin loved best was Seifer Almasy.

Perhaps the stupidity of the Trepies has been made clear, but if not... there will be more evidence provided momentarily.

Seifer had overheard one of the male Trepies bragging to a non-Trepie about the shower-cam. Naturally he was a little envious – what guy doesn't fantasize about a little peep-show every once in a while? – but he was also appalled – just because he fantasized about it didn't mean he'd actually do it or thought anyone else should invade another person's privacy that way. So Seifer went with the meanest preventative measure he could think of.

He told Fujin.

Fujin, of course, was very much Not Pleased and she made her Displeasure known. For a few days, the Trepies trembled in fear when she was around and then everything went back to normal, minus the shower-cam. A week passed and Seifer put the incident out of his mind. So it was with great surprise that he found himself standing in what should have been an empty classroom, staring down the barrel of a paintball gun, and wondering 'what the fucking hell?'

"You're to come with us," the Trepie holding the gun said calmly, though his hands were visibly shaking.

Seifer raised an eyebrow, considered his options for responding, and began to laugh. The three other Trepies brought their paintball guns to bear. He laughed harder.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, once he managed to catch his breath.

"No. You should come with us now," the first Trepie repeated.

"Oh... I get it now," Seifer said with a smirk. "It's that you're stupid."

Lunging forward far faster than the Trepies had expected him capable of, Seifer shoved the barrel of the gun pointing at his face up towards the ceiling so that a lime green blob of paint discolored the otherwise mat gray of the room. Seifer then tugged the gun hard enough to yank it out of the little bastard's hands, ignoring the two paintballs that hit him (ruining his coat in the process) and the neon purple paint that splattered on the far wall. He then proceeded to hit the idiotic lead Trepie with the butt of the gun, knocking the nitwit unconscious. Turning to the other three Trepies, Seifer felt highly tempted to ask the punks if they felt lucky.

There was no need to ask, however, since they obviously didn't feel lucky. They dropped their guns and ran from the room.

Collecting the paintball guns, Seifer nonchalantly sauntered from the room and headed for the Disciplinary Committee office. He had a bad feeling about this attack.

The attack was not a freak occurrence. DC members were being assaulted by angry Trepies wielding paintball guns all over Garden. A few people had taken more hits than others, but all the DC members had confiscated and intimidated the Trepies. They wore their paintball splotches like badges of honor and began to plot revenge.

It was with great reluctance that Seifer nixed the revenge plot. Personally, he wanted to rend the Trepies limb from limb. But the truth was that there were more Trepies than DC members and the Trepies were better liked by the rest of the student population. If the Trepies true nature had been known, then that might have changed. However, Seifer didn't really know how to run a PR campaign and didn't care enough to learn. Instead, he decided to do something a little drastic.

He sent the Trepies the bill for buying him a new coat along with a note explaining the evidence the DC had concerning the Trepies' invasion of Quistis Trepe's privacy and just what he intended to do with it if they didn't pay up and back the fuck off.

He received the correct amount of cash from a particularly twitchy Trepie some two days later followed by a formal apology from Natalia the day after.

What no one realized, however, was that Fujin had already taken revenge.

Now, the Trepies had not replaced their shower-cam, so Fujin felt that, morally speaking, she couldn't really crush the Trepies for their idiocy. She could, however, inform someone else of their actions and intentions and let that someone else deal with things for her. It was passive aggressive, but that tended to make for a colder, more vengeful recompense.

* * *

><p>The door to the Trepie headquarters slammed open. No one was really certain how the invader managed that with the automatic door, but he did. It also slammed closed behind him.<p>

Eyes like icebergs surveyed the room, which held nearly thirty of the forty Trepies. They all trembled in fear and shook in relief when the gaze moved beyond them.

"Cadet Rogers," the impassive voice intoned, "I have been informed that the Trepies recently involved themselves in a... I suppose you could call it a plot..." he rolled his eyes and continued, "to kidnap Seifer Almasy and hold him hostage in some ill-conceived attempt to 'manage' Fujin Engel. Is this true?"

"N-no," Natalia lied unconvincingly.

"..." Squall raised an eyebrow, but otherwise did not move.

Natalia felt threatened anyway. "Yes... we did."

"Explain your reasoning."

"Well... Fujin's in love with him, isn't he?" one of the faceless Trepies piped up. "So she'd, like, do anything to keep him safe."

"They consider each other siblings," Squall informed them coldly. "Also, you seem to have forgotten that he is the leader of the DC, not her. He is also my only sparring partner."

The room grew deathly quiet. Some of the Trepies stopped breathing.

"The Trepies were soundly routed. You are all insults to Garden's training. However, if any of you should threaten Seifer Almasy ever again..." Squall trailed off and his right hand hovered over the pommel of his gunblade. "Remember that I am not oblivious to my status as Headmaster Kramer and Instructor Trepe's favorite student. Though I have not used this status for gain in the past, I will not hesitate to use it to ruin the lives of every Trepie in Garden should my hand be forced.

"As Quistis Trepe's fan club, I assume that you all have a great deal of respect for her?"

"Well, yeah." "Of course!" "No duh."

"Then tell me, how is invading her privacy and turning her into your own personal sex-object respectful?" There was no response. "There is a difference between being a fan and being an obsessive stalker. You have all crossed that line. If any of you have any desire to become SeeD, or even functional members of society, you will reevaluate yourselves and cross back to the correct side of the line." The 'or else' was implied, but everyone heard it.

Though stupid, the Trepies were not completely brain-dead. They allowed Squall to leave in peace. Fujin, Seifer, and Squall had each threatened them with things that could destroy them. They knew when they were defeated... sometimes. And this was one of those times.

The Trepies went from an active society of forty stalkers, to a quiet fan club of some twenty-odd die-hards by the end of the day.

Still... there were some who dreamed of vengeance. Obviously, these were the broken bulbs that never had a chance to light up in the first place. The rest were merely dim.

None of the Senior Trepies made SeeD that year. That was probably why Balamb Garden survived the battle against Galbadia Garden during the summer.

As for the fate of the paintball guns? They were quietly secreted away in a security depot that the actual security staff never used. Seifer had learned early on in his leadership of the DC just how to bypass the locks on the depots and took advantage of that fact for the betterment of his team. It wasn't exactly legal and it was definitely against the rules, but... well...

Seifer always had preferred people do as he said and not as he did.


End file.
